Tuesday, June 29, 2010

6/29/10 Time to Get-Ta-Gettin

Here I am again, contemplating switching my facebook status to shut-in!!!LOL!

I have let this go on soooooo long. I was sitting in the bed last night with my knee swollen, my feet aching so bad it almost brought me to tears when my wife simply mentioned a foot message, and all the while I could not see either because of my mountainous gut. See, I think I am slowly making it to where I can no longer move without grabbing the closest wall for support or gasping for air while crossing the room. I have problems emotionally, physically, mentally and a whole bunch more -llys. While laying there last night, I took a gander at my feet and realized I have been crippling myself. If I put my feet side by side, my big toes go in almost the exact opposite direction. Years upon years of wearing shoes that did not accommodate the width of my foot has almost got my feet into a geisha like nub. And the pain is almost unbearable. In addition to that, last night my knee just decided to start aching and swelling up like a grapefruit. My wife rubbed on some ointment and the swelling went down but guess what's back again tonight? Add on top of these, back pain from a back fusion 10 years ago and you have a pain that lasts every minute of the day from my chest down.

See, here's the issue... I am what you would call morbidly obese and getting more morbidly by the minute. For some reason, I just cannot stop eating/drinking the wrong stuff. I mean we ain't talking that extra donut for breakfast here. Were talking 2-3 candy bars at a time, the biggest thing on the menu (and trust, I eat out for almost every meal), soda by the 3 liters, and on and on and on. Why do I do it? I have my suspicions some of which include eating when bored, eating when stressed (big one here) and eating just to chew something among many others. I drink sodas 1 after the other like they were oxygen and I was on Mars. Personally, I think most of it comes from stress. The incredible stress that is on any family with child and/or family member with autism, the incredible stress of having a job that deals with the public, the incredible stress of being 348 lbs and seeing absolutely no way out..etc..etc..etc..

So what am I gonna do about it? Go out and have bypass surgery? Go onto a pay site and pay a monthly membership? Go to the gym (another monthly membership)?

Nope! None of these!

Nothing against anyone that has any of these or is planning any of these, but I refuse to pay ANYONE, and I mean ANYONE, to fix a problem that I have laid upon myself. Here is my plan of attack:

1. CUT OUT SODAS - I have quit smoking cold turkey, so why cant I quit soda/caffeine cold turkey? I don't take this one lightly here. Looking back, I see an addiction to sodas ever since I was 5 years old and my Grandpa bought me a Sprite (the one in the green bottle with the bumps on the outside) at the local barber shop/general store (don't see these much anymore)! Now I do not blame my Grandpa in anyway for this, this is my doing all the way. It just amazes me though, that I can remember a scene from so long ago but I cannot remember where I put my dang keys or phone when I need them. Anyways, I was smoking for about 15 years when I quit but I have been drinking sodas for 35+ years. Anyway this is it. I just drank my last soda as I am typing this. There will be no more sodas going down my throat, period.

2. MEDITATION - I have a little nook that I just planned out for inside our closet downstairs where I can retreat and meditate. When I was in High School, I had a class that was billed out as French class, but it was ohhh so much more. The teacher, every once in a while, would run us through some meditative practices. Funny thing is, I don't remember very much French, but I learned soooo much more than a language that I will probably never have the need to use, unless I say ta hell with it and cut out to Canada..LOL! But my memories of that class swell back up from time to time and it's like a nagging voice saying, "You know you need to be doing this. Why are you waiting?" Well wait no more, I am putting it on the top of my priority list to get that niche cut out and get back to what I felt was right. Hopefully this will open me back up to a more centered and unstressed person and help me cut down the tremendous stress that comes from a certain workplace every damn day.

3. GET AWAY - I am considering taking 1 day a month as a personal reflection day. I will leave the house, alone, and find a way to reconnect to me. It may come down to renting a hotel room and using it as a meditation space, or going out into a park and finding myself an outdoor meditation space. Either way, this will allow me to get some of this tension released from this body before it snaps me in half!

4. DIETARY CHANGES - Most of these changes I am seeing are coming from a book, Live Right For Your Type by Dr. Peter D'Adamo. In this book I am seeing WAY too many things that match up to my personality. I am going to eat, breathe, drink, live the type A section in this book until either it changes or I do. I can wait no longer. Everyday that passes, I get more heavier, more sore, and less active.

5. MORE ACTIVITY - even if it means I walk to just the end of the block, I am going to get my big butt out there and go. At some point in time, I would love to join my wife in just a simple walk around the block, a bike ride, or that hike up in chimney rock that she keeps going on about.

6. DOCUMENTATION - This is where this blog comes in. I will use it to document my journey from the Fat Man in NC to something a little more appealing. I will post pics and updates when I can, that is if I'm not too busy running the Iron Man..LOL!!

I think that is enough for my 1st post here. I may start with 7 on the next post or 6 may be enough...who knows? Oh yeah, I DO!

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